


Vivid Right

by Mazarin221b



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, First Time, Love, M/M, vague references to past childhood sexual abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 04:23:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17400002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mazarin221b/pseuds/Mazarin221b
Summary: Of course he’d been waiting, Ash knew better than most the consequences of giving in, of giving a hostage to fate, flirting with the temptation of reliance. He also knows Dino is ruthless and determined, and Eiji would make the perfect target to destroy Ash, and do so in a way that would haunt him for the rest of his natural life.All of these calculations must show in his face, because Eiji wraps a hand around the back of Ash’s neck and forces Ash to look him in the eyes. “If I must go to hell by being with you, then I welcome the flames,” he says, fierce and determined.





	Vivid Right

**Author's Note:**

> I'm terrible, but I love to write and post in this fandom, so if you see an error let me know, ok? This fandom is such a visceral, emotional thing.

He thought it would happen after a chase, after a battle, after some kind of adrenaline pumping, death-defying feat that left him shivery with the aftershock of adrenaline, but it doesn’t. It happens two days after Christmas, when everyone’s too busy sleeping it off or dealing with their own families to bother with any real shenanigans. The apartment was quiet, some boring-ass movie on cable, something terrible and awful that came out in the 70s and Ash vaguely remembers from when he was a kid, sitting in the dorm with the other club boys before Golzine decided to pick him up as his own special possession.

Ash shivers away the memory. Eiji is tucked into his side, eyes already half-closed, blue light from the television flickering across his cheeks. He’s so peaceful, so quiet, and for once Ash can feel his heartbeat slow to something below panicked as he watches Eiji breathe.

He never lets his guard down. He shouldn’t. But Eiji snuck under his defenses merely by pretending they weren’t there, and Ash relaxes into the sofa and the heat of Eiji’s skin against his and breathes in the smell of his shampoo.

He must drift off because he swims up from the gloom to see Eiji’s face over his, eyes dark and fathomless. Before his higher senses kick in, before he can warn himself off, he hooks a hand behind Eiji’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss; a gentle, delicate thing, something warm and soft and when Eiji breathes in and starts to pull back Ash chases his lips with tiny little pecks.

“I’ve been waiting for you, Aslan Jade Callenreese,” Eiji whispers, voice so low it’s barely a rumble in his throat, and Ash presses his forehead to Eiji’s and cups his cheek. He closes his eyes and feels the fear twist up and grip him by the throat.

Of course he’d been waiting, Ash knew better than most the consequences of giving in, of giving a hostage to fate, flirting with the temptation of reliance. He also knows Dino is ruthless and determined, and Eiji would make the perfect target to destroy Ash, and do so in a way that would haunt him for the rest of his natural life.

All of these calculations must show in his face, because Eiji wraps a hand around the back of Ash’s neck and forces Ash to look him in the eyes. “If I must go to hell by being with you, then I welcome the flames,” he says, fierce and determined.

Ash pulls him back down on the couch and kisses him until he can’t breathe, until his heart stops its frantic pounding and flutters instead, until the soft pants and moans escaping Eiji’s lips against his drown out his fear and all he can feel is Eiji’s love, pouring into his body with every touch.

……………………………..

  
The hall light illuminates the bed, a slash of light in the unforgiving dark that highlights the dips and planes of Eiji’s bare chest but leaves his face in shadow.

“You’ve not ever, have you?” He asks, and Eiji blushes, a flush of pink barely visible across his chest. Eiji pulls his hand back from where he’s tracing the edge of Ash’s bicep with a delicate finger, and Ash could kick himself for being so utterly clumsy and stupid.

“Not with a _man_ ,” Eiji says primly, and Ash sighs in relief. If that’s all, then he can handle that. That is...unless... Ash reaches out to snag a finger in Eiji’s beltloop, giving himself something else to focus on. He wants to get out of his pants, wants Eiji out of his pants, wants to get them hot and hard and naked in the dead silent of their bedroom, splayed across Ash’s bed.

“It’s okay,” he says, trying for reassurance. “But is this, I mean, you and me, are you sure…”

Eiji takes Ash’s hand and places it over his crotch. He’s hard, blazing under the fabric and Ash’s fingers twitch. “Does that feel like I’m not sure?” God, Ash, you’re so beautiful. It’s almost painful how much I’ve wanted you. I know you’re worried for me, but please. Please.”

Ash watches how his eyes slide half-closed at “please,” at the way his body shifts to buck forward as Ash experimentally presses the heel of his hand against Eiji’s cock. He knows the signs of arousal, he knows them like another language. He knows how to read a man better than he should, and Eiji’s desire feels so warm and solid, tinged with caring and reciprocal lust instead of vicious and firey and demanding, and Ash tilts forward to kiss him again, push him back against the pillows and slowly, carefully, unsnap his pants and pull down the zipper until he can lift Eiji’s cock out from his underwear.

It’s beautiful and sleek and Ash’s mouth waters. He has a moment of strange half-thoughts when he realizes that this might be the youngest cock he’s ever sucked, then he shakes himself and knows that it might be the youngest, but also one of the only he’s wanted his mouth on, a desire so strong he’s reeling from it. He slithers further down the bed and insinuates himself between Eiji’s knees.

“Oh, no, Ash, you don’t have to do that, I’m sure…” Eiji says, one hand lightly on Ash’s hair, and Ash glances up his body and catches his eye. His brow is furrowed and Ash deliberately keeps his eyes on Eiji’s as he leans forward and licks a wet stripe up the bottom of Eiji’s cock. Eiji bucks and gasps.

“Have you seen me ever do anything I don’t want to?” he asks, and presses the soft head to his lips again.

“No,” Eiji says, breath heavy and fast.

“Then unless you don’t want it, I’m gonna suck you off. Okay?”

Eiji nods and when Ash tightens his fist and takes Eiji’s cock fully into his mouth, it’s bliss. Precome beads across the tip, a salty flash across his tongue, and Ash bobs his head a few times, letting Eiji get used to the sensation before he starts in earnest, giving him long, luxurious pulls with his mouth as his hand twists around the base. Eiji claws at the sheets, babbling in a strange mix of Japanese interspersed with “please,” and “oh,” until Ash starts picking up his own name, chanted on Eiji’s every exhale.

It’s intoxicating. He’s spent his life trying to please men, pleasure them, and nothing gives him the kind of visceral joy he feels right now, his heart hammering out of his chest, love exploding in the gentle scratch of Eiji’s fingers in his hair.

“Ash, I’m going to come, Ash please, I’m, ah, please,” Eiji says, and instead of pulling away Ash just sucks him deeper, opening his throat and letting Eiji’s cock slide as deep as it can go, Ash’s nose buried in his groin. Eiji gasps and arches his back, head thrown back on the pillow, and Ash can feel the hot spurt of come as it slides down his throat. He swallows heavily around his mouthful then pulls back and gasps a breath.

“Fucking beautiful, Eiji,” he rasps, and it was, Eiji’s skin shining with sweat, and Ash wants to press himself to that beautiful chest and never let go. So he does, lets himself indulge in the kind of skin to skin comfort he hasn’t sought in years. Eiji’s arms come up around his back and hold him tight and he presses kisses to the top of Ash’s head. Ash sighs, snuggles in, and tries to ignore the insistent throb in his own groin. If he dies right now he’d be the happiest man on Earth, he’s sure.

But then Eiji’s hand slips from around his back and begins tracing patterns up and down his arm. Ash blinks up at Eiji’s face, smiling softly in the light.

“Would you let me reciprocate?” he asks. “I want to make you feel as good as you made me.”

Ash’s low smoldering arousal flashes outward, and before he even thinks about how that might play out he nods. Eiji carefully tips Ash onto his back and leans over him on one elbow, his body a graceful line all along Ash’s side. He’s so beautiful like this, his skin warm and soft against Ash’s bare side. Eiji reaches down and starts to unbutton Ash’s jeans.

“Yes?” he says, and Ash nods, slightly stunned. No one has ever asked him before, and he realizes that Eiji has done nothing but ask, all night. His heart gives a hard thump, and Ash wonders anew if this is really what love is, Eiji’s gentle touch in the dark, and he lifts his hips to allow Eiji to pull his jeans down his legs.

“Eiji,” he whispers, as Eiji kisses his way back up his legs, his lips on the inside of Ash’s knee, outlining the dip of his quads, his hipbones; a reverent, slow exploration of Ash’s body that leaves Ash quivering. “I’m gonna go crazy if you keep doing that.”

“Ah, should I not?” Eiji teases, then dips his tongue into Ash’s belly button.

Ash jolts. “Tickles,” he complains, but then gasps when Eiji turns the tiny kitten licks into long, laving strokes around his belly button and lower, his fingers dancing along the shaft of Ash’s cock.

“I’ve never done this,” Eiji says carefully, eyes cast down on Ash’s cock, on his stomach, on anywhere but Ash’s face. “So you have to tell me what to do.” He carefully fits the head of Ash’s cock in his mouth and Ash groans at the sensation.

“That’s a good start,” he says, and fights his body from bucking up into the welcoming heat of Eiji’s mouth. “Anything, Eiji. Just touch me anywhere.”

Eiji slides his mouth further down Ash’s cock and uses his hand to stroke what doesn’t fit. He’s a bit clumsy trying to get his mouth and hand to cooperate and Ash couldn’t care less as the sensation of someone trying so hard to pleasure him washes over his soul and leaves him on the verge of tears.

Eiji pulls off. “Oh. Am I...oh Ash. Ash, please,” he says, and reaches up to brush the tears away that have gathered in the corners of his eyes. Ash blinks hard and stares at the ceiling, chest tight.

“I’m fine, Eiji,” he croaks. “Please don’t stop. I...I want…” Want more of that touch, of that selfless desire to love, to care, and Ash moans when Eiji laces his hand with Ash’s and grips tight before he lowers his head and takes Ash’s cock back into his mouth, sucking lightly. He bobs his head a bit as he does and Ash sees stars, the thready warmth of orgasm starting to build in his groin. He doesn’t always come when he has sex, sometimes it was just too bleak and cold for him to care, but this tightening, this heat, growing and expanding as Eiji squeezes his hand overtakes every single fear or worry he’s ever had and he comes with a sharp gasp, his body shuddering as Eiji continues to milk him with his mouth.

Ash pulls Eiji up to kiss him, tasting himself on Eiji’s lips, Eiji’s body across his a welcome weight that grounds him and keeps him from floating away. Eiji pulls away from Ash’s kisses and smiles, a slash of brightness in the dark. He has a smear of come on the side of his cheek and his hair is a disaster, and he’s never looked more beautiful.

“I’m so happy, Ash,” he says. “Thank you, for trusting me. I...I…” he looks down for a moment, then lifts his eyes to Ash’s face. “I love you. I do. I know it’s crazy and we have so much to worry about but..I want you to know,” he finishes quietly and his ears go red.

Ash has a moment of panic, of blood-freezing fear, that leaves him uncertain in the face of Eiji’s declaration. Dino will find out. The Lees will. The only decent and good thing Ash has ever had in his life will be taken from him in a hail of bullets, and it would be his fault entirely.  
But then he cups Eiji’s jaw and lifts his face to look in his eyes. He looks defiant, as if he’s daring Ash to deny him, and Ash crumbles. He might be afraid, but Eiji has enough strength for the both of them.

“I’ve never loved anyone more than you,” he finally says, and draws Eiji up to kiss him. “Please stay with me,” he whispers against his mouth.

Eiji pulls back to press a gentle kiss against the corner of Ash’s mouth. “I told you. If the entire world were to turn against you, I’m here. I will be, forever.”

Ash smiles and hugs Eiji to him once again. He knows they’ll be tested. He knows they could lose each other at any moment. But as Eiji yawns against his chest and seems to settle himself in to sleep, Ash is determined to take their time and stretch it into forever.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Elbow's [ One Day Like This.](https://youtu.be/mCJ7keVBj6Y)


End file.
